Monday Thoughts: Rambling

Over the weekend I kept thinking that some people forget that others have feelings as well. Sometimes we all get caught up in how we feel that we forget to think about how the other person or the people around us might be feeling. I keep thinking that people are forgetting how I feel, as selfish as that may sound right now, I feel lost without the people I care about, or the people who I at least thought cared about me too.
They say people put up walls to see who will try to knock them down and right now no one seems to be knocking down the walls I've put up. Everyone is doing their own thing, living their own life and I feel like I'm being left out. I like being alone but I hate being lonely. And that's how I feel right now, I feel lonely and lost like no one is there for me when all I did was be there for them.
I know that they all have their own lives and I understand that because I have my own life too but that doesn't mean I don't have time for my friends.
The other day I thought about my friends and sometimes I feel like I made them my friends but they didn't make me their friend. Right now I don't understand how my friends are feeling because I feel left out. We all have that problem of not wanting to text someone first because we don't want to annoy them. But I think we need to remember that if they can't text us right then they will eventually and if they don't then that is up to them. Just like it's up to me to reach out to my friends.
I hide my thoughts from them because I don't want to worry them or have them pity me. I show them that I am strong and able but I can feel myself starting to break down and I don't think anyone can save me this time.
This post is all over the place but these are my thoughts and my thoughts tend to be everywhere and I can't seem to organize them and it sucks. I don't think I've shared this but Boy Meets World is my all time favorite TV show as I was growing up. I've seen every episode more times than I can remember. Out of all the episodes and all the good life lessons, there's one quote that has always been in the back of my head throughout the years and that is "Lose one friends. Lose all friends. Lose yourself." ~Eric Matthews
He may come off as a dummy but he's pretty smart.
Be Beautiful For You