Drink A Beer

When I got the news today,
I didn't know what to say,
So I just hung up the phone.
I took a walk to clear my head
And this is where the walking lead

 That moment you find out that someone you love or care about passed away, it's the most confusing feeling ever. When I heard my Grandpa had passed away, tears automatically came streaming down my face and I could just feel my heart breaking. As soon as my Dad turned into my grandparent's neighborhood we saw the firetruck and police cars, we parked at the neighbor's house and I ran to my Grandparent's house. He was in the backyard, laying on the deck and I didn't want to to go see him. I wasn't ready to see him so lifeless and I wasn't ready to do it on my own. After I told my Mom that Grandpa had passed away, the first person I wanted to call was Kenny but something was holding me back, and instead I called my cousin Aaron instead. 

Can't believe your really gone
I don't feel like going home
So I'm gonna sit right here,
On the edge of this pier
And watch the sunset disappear
And drink a beer.

I knew I had to let my cousins know. I was the only one of his grandchildren at the house that understood what was going on. My cousin, Candace, was there, but since she's autistic,  and so I wasn't sure how much of what was happening she could understand. I didn't let all my cousins know, just the ones that weren't told by their parents. All my aunts and uncles were there and I just felt alone until my mom got there. When she got there, I was ready to see my Grandpa. He looked so peaceful, as if he really was sleeping but I knew he wasn't and all I could do was cry and wish I had someone to hold my hand. 

Funny how the good ones go,
Too soon but the good lord knows
The reasons why, I guess.
It's funny how a greater plan
Is too hard to understand
Right now it don't make sense
No I can't make it all make sense.

When I got home, I finally texted Kenny to let him know what had happened and how much I needed him. I didn't expect much except for "I'm sorry for your loss," but he had done so much more than that. He took me out a couple days later. He took me to my favorite late night bakery, bought me a slice of my favorite cake and then took me to my favorite place in Seattle. Which also happened to be his favorite place as well. Despite everything that had been happening that week, I just felt to lucky to have a friend be there for me during this horrible time. He also checked up on my almost everyday to see how I was doing and how my family was doing. He also helped me get through all the memorial planning and he became my rock through this tough time. 

So I'm gonna sit right here,
On the edge of this pier
And watch the sunset disappear
And drink a beer.

I've never lost someone so close to me before. I spent a lot of time with my grandpa and I'm still not use to him not being around. I still walk through the backdoor of my Grandparent's home and I look for him on the couch and he's not there. He's not in his room. He's not outside mowing the grass or sitting on his favorite chair. He's just not there. But I still feel like he is. 

So long my friend, until we meet again
Well I'll remember you
And all the times that we used to
Sit right here, on the edge of this pier
And watch the sunset disappear
And drink a beer
Drink a beer

Drink A Beer by Luke Bryan 

Be Beautiful For You.