Monday Thoughts: Build Friendships

I know I haven't written as much as I wanted to or as much as I said I would, and honestly I don't know why. I do have time to write but maybe it's because nothing lately seems to be worth writing about. Today, however, I find myself having these thoughts that I just have to put out there because if I don't then it'll be on my mind for awhile.
I recently just turned 23 and it hit me, some of my friends are getting engaged, married or having babies and I'm just trying to figure out myself and keep in touch with my friends.
I think maybe I'm the kind of person who really needs to know who is going to be there during hard times and who is going to bail. It's hard enough to find friends that will last a lifetime but to find one person who wants to be your life for all of it can be even tougher.
 When I get married, divorce isn't an option. Once I marry, that is it. That is the person I will spend my life with and the person I will hope would want to spend their life with me. I'm just not ready to be married yet.
I want to live my life, being myself without somebody else. As much as I want to be in a relationship, I also want to do my own thing and not worry about another person. However, the hardest thing is having this feeling that I know who I want to spend my life with. I just don't know how or if it will work out the way I want it to. I know I can't control every part of my life because I can't control the people in it; I just wish I could be with the one person I feel the most like myself whenever he's around.
I'm working on it though. I'm building an even better friendship with him. He's certainly my best friend and I truly don't know what I would do without him. In fact, when he was gone, I wasn't sure what to do without him around and I am so glad that he is back in my life. He's certainly a big part of my beautiful life.
Be Beautiful For You.