Please remember that my advice comes from my own experience and the experiences of others around me. I hope that everyone knows how much respect they deserve when it comes to relationships either with a boyfriend, girlfriend, friend or even parent. No one deserves to be disrespected in any way. No one deserves to be hit for any reason. I hope people learn to treat each other with kindness. It saddens me knowing that there are people out there that don't know how to get the help they need or they're afraid to get the help they need.
Chazzidyw Asked:
How many chances should you give your boyfriend?
My and my dude has been living together for 2 months. And he is very
controlling and wants things to go his way all the time. We have had
physical fights before. Once the police had to be called and after the
altercation I forgave him and took him back. And he told me he was sorry
and it would never happen again. I moved out and went to stay with a
friend but I ended up moving back with my boyfriend. Since then we have
had arguments and he called me a bitch. I got up and hit him and
we started fighting again. That was my first time hitting him. Its
like some days we have good days and sometimes we don't. I don't know if
I want to leave and break up with him or give him another chance. I
know that if I give him another chance the same things gonna happen
again. The reason why I don't wanna break up is because I became kind of
close with his family and I'm gonna miss them..Its gonna be hard to say
goodbye. Also I don't wanna break up with him because I want to help him
and be a friend to him. But he does not appreciate my kindness. Every time
I try to talk to him about our problems he makes it seem like its not a
big deal or say "well what are you gonna do about it." As if he refuses
to change his ways. He is very rude also,and he talks about his ex
in front of me all the time.
Dear Chazzidyw,
My mom has told that no man, and I stress the word man, should ever call
his girlfriend, wife, or even mother, a bitch. The second he calls you
that is when you leave him because that's a word he used out of
disrespect for you and no woman deserves to be disrespected. Do not stay
with someone who disrespects you in anyway. If he does not appreciate
you then you shouldn't be with him. If he hits you then you shouldn't be
with him. If he controls you then you shouldn't be with him. Do you get
where I'm going? I understand you are close to his family but if
they're the only reason you're sticking with this guy then you should
talk to them about his behavior. But honestly, this guy doesn't deserve
anymore chances from you.
Anonymous Asked:
My friend is being abused and I promise not to tell.
My friend is abused by her dad, but her dad doesn't see her as often since
her parents are divorced. She lives with her mom but still visits her
dad on most weekends. One day we were in the car and I was in the back
seat and she was in the front, she tried changing the radio and he
backhanded her across the face. She has told me he has pushed her down
the stairs two times. Her family is kinda violent from what I have
learned from over the years but she went to a Catholic school (not
trying to be offensive here) and she said that it messed her up. She
will not tell anybody about this other than a few people. Now she is
suicidal and I just do not know what to do anymore. She told me not to
tell anybody and made me promise. Please help.
Dear Anonymous,
You have to tell an adult that you trust. I know you promised her but if
her life is in danger then you have to let an adult you trust know what
is going on. Let them know what your friend told you, and what concerns
you have for your friend. This really needs to be checked out because
this is more serious than a promise. This is her life and if she doesn't
get the proper help she needs then you could lose a friend. This is
also more than you can handle, and more than she can handle so you need
to get an adult you trust to help you and her.
Nelly_Love393812 Asked:
Was my boyfriend controlling? Did I do the right thing?
My boyfriend and I were together for 4 months. I loved him so much,
he was sweet, caring, & charming. However, he was very jealous and I
wasn't allowed to text other guys, or my guy friends at all. I wasn't
allowed to hug guys, even if they were his friends & they had
girlfriends, I couldn't even talk to guys in my classroom. One time he
walked by & saw me talking to my guy friends & told me I was
messing up. All we were talking about was a cell phone game. He checked
my messages, pictures, and even the search history on my internet. He
even accused me of cheating on him & sleeping with guys if I took to
long to answer his text message. Since he put me on rules I put him on
them too. However he didn't seem to mind as much as I did. Most of my
friends are guys & not speaking to them was hard, he caught me
texting them 3 times & told me he didn't trust me at all. If I could
just text them, I wouldn't have had to sneak. I started losing my
friends but he didn't mind losing his. He asked me if I missed them
& I said yeah & he got sad & started crying sayin' I hurt his
feelings cause he doesn't miss his friends cause he had me. I asked to
go to a party last Saturday because my church was throwing it & I
hadn't seen any of my friends in 4 months because I was just with my
boyfriend all the time. 2 of my exes were gonna be there & even
though they were my exes they are still my friends. I begged and pleaded
for him to come with me to the party for a week straight. He refused
each time & told me if I went to the party he would break up with
me. I told him if he let me go then he could go to a party & he
still said no. He made me choose between my friends that I have known my
whole life and him who I have only been dating for 4 months. I made the
choice to go to the party because I missed my friends & they missed
me. He was furious & broke up with me. He said he didn't wanna be
friends & he didn't even wanna be cool with each other. He hates me
cause I chose to see my friends. Its only been 2 days & I miss him a
lot tho however, my family & friends said that breaking up with him
was for the best cause his controlling issue would have gotten worse,
but I miss him so much and every time I try to talk to him he shuts me
down & stops replying, did I make the right choice? Also he said if
we ever broke up he would make my life hell, but that was only if I
cheated on him, & I didn't.
Dear Nelly_Love393812
You did the right thing. He was controlling you. Getting mad if you
talked to a guy, looking through your phone, and checking your internet
history, that's just the start of a controlling boyfriend. It's actually
a good thing that you two aren't together. It may not feel like it was
the right thing but in time you'll realize it was.
Be Beautiful For You.
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