It's Love

Yeah, I want to know where you go when you're going
We can take it slow if you don't show that you're slowing
You can try to save me if you're crazy
But I want to know if we go, where we're going to

As a New Year's Resolution, I thought I should start to open my heart more. I've guarded my heart for over a year and a half now but I've kept my mind open for someone I feel is right for me and that I am right for him. It's hard for me put myself out there, to put my heart on the line that is. Especially with a guy who I'm afraid to lose. 

 

People try to find reasons why things aren't perfect
Fight to deny every smile they're deserving
But we can try to end this, just give me one kiss
Let me show you how, even now, things are perfect

I'm afraid to lose him because I've lost him before and every time my heart was broken when he wasn't around, I just wanted to run to him. I don't know what I would do if I lost him again because I don't think I could handle not having him to run to when I'm sad or upset. I've made excuses not to date him and I've tried to keep in the friend zone but the more we talk, the more I fall. And it scares me. 

If you want to grow, you gotta go

You, afraid to fall
You know it's all
You, afraid to fall
You know it's all love, love.

Love is scary. Today, my family and I celebrated my parent's 24th Anniversary and it got me thinking that I could one day be with someone for that long. Right now, that scares me. The thought of committing to someone for the rest of my life scares me. I know I'm not getting married anytime soon but thinking about relationships, you either end up getting married or you end up breaking up. Putting my heart out there, on the line, it's my fear. 

I know that you're scared to prepare for this feeling
But it's always there like the air that you're breathing
So go on take a deep breath and give it your best
Maybe you'll see through to me, and your feelings, too

My New Year's resolution to open my heart is a big resolution for me. It's not something I take lightly so I may still guard my heart until I'm sure that I have nothing to be afraid of. Love is scary but it's also a beautiful thing. 

It's Love by Kina Grannis 

Be Beautiful For You